You'll hear a lot of writers say that they hate it when people refer to/think of their characters as their "children." This is because they feel that the authors who act this way favor some of their characters above others and make things too easy for them--which makes for a boring (or, sometimes, masturbatory) story. They're not wrong--your protagonist should not have it easy, people--but I think it's unfair to push all thought of the parenthood of our characters into one umbrella group and call it "bad." See, it's not seeing the characters as your offspring that's bad--it's seeing them as babies.
Here's the main distinction; children can grow up and take care of themselves but babies, confined to your care, cannot.
Our characters are, for all intents and purposes, our children. We create them by thought and pen them by hand--sometimes we adopt them, and I'll be the first to admit that I've done it more than once, but we care for them in a way that only we can do, raising them up from a carbon copy of their birth parent(s) into something all their own, something we can call ours. And there's no shame in favoring our own characters over the characters of others--that's one of the finest rights of the parent, you know. Otherwise who would you root for come time for school competitions?
The problem comes in two forms: not allowing your children to grow up, and favoring some of your young over the others.
A parent might keep favorites--they aren't supposed to, but they're only human. However, a good parent will not let on. They will treat all of their children fairly, with equal degrees of love, and react to them as individuals. Even with twins, good parents will differentiate between the two and encourage the separate interests they may cultivate, and while some children, usually the frailer ones, will need more attention, it doesn't mean that their parents love them any more or less, and it doesn't mean that their parents stop trying to challenge them and help them grow. Other children, self-reliant and resilient, may need less and give more, but a parent will still try to spend time with them, comfort them, help them through in difficult times. How does this translate from offspring to character? Like so:
You need to love and encourage all of your characters equally. Some will not need equal time--minor characters, cameos, walk-ons, one-liners, and the various background characters which people your world can be considered mostly grown, independent younglings. They are off to college, so to speak, and while yes, every once in a while you may need to call them up to get in touch, make sure they're okay, see that they're happy and haven't burned down their apartment yet, for the most part you can leave them be; they can take care of themselves.
Then there are the supporting characters, who may be somewhere between the ages of ten and seventeen (metaphorically speaking), old enough to stay home alone, feed themselves, maybe walk around town and hang out with friends, but they'll need a much closer eye kept on them to keep them out of trouble. You need to watch and make sure they face the consequence of action, but that they retain their individuality. You're cultivating a future adult here, remember! They need to be able to function in the real world.
And then there's the protagonist(s) and antagonist(s). For the sake of our extended metaphor, these are the children that give you the toughest time. Somewhere between the ages of twelve and fifteen, these characters are probably born of the same stuff, or similar stuff--possibly twins themselves, they could be extremely similar or as different as night and day. They're probably both likely to be misunderstood, bullied, or generally dissatisfied with life, and somehow their interests are extremely conflicted. As a parent, you are not technically allowed to take sides. You have to let these two sort it out on their own terms, or the end result will be unsatisfactory.
But as a parent, it is your job to make sure your characters--especially the protagonist--reap what they've sown. You may love them, you may care, you may want what's best for them, you may even give them trinkets along the way (though it's wise to deal these out to other characters as well--antagonists can always use something convenient to help them out), but if your protagonist burns down the house he better get the shit beat out of him for it, because shit like that can't fly. And if the antagonist manages to destroy the protagonist's favorite toy while he's bent over your knee.... Well, you didn't see it happen, did you? It was probably just destroyed in the fire anyway.
If you are going to favor any of the characters, it should actually be the antagonist--all interesting things will come from your protagonist's pain, frustration, and fight against opposition, and it can be easy for loud, whiney, or manipulative children to sway their parents in their favor; your antagonist is likely to be at least one of these things.
And then there's the age-old problem of coddling--this ties into the favoring of some characters over others, but some writers can actually be afraid to let their characters so much as breathe without their permission. Here's a little secret; as a writer, the best thing you can do is to let your characters live. Sure, at the start you have to help them along, tell them to do things, move them hither and thither and yon, but they grow a lot quicker than actual babies, and pretty soon you'll find them doing things you didn't tell them to, maybe things that might conflict with what's in your head. And that's what you want.
When characters start to live, to breathe, to wonder and run and travel on their own, you have successfully raised your child to sentience--and instead of clamping down on their attempts at independence, you need to nurture it. Follow where they lead! They may be on to something--and if worse should come to worst, you can always trace back your path to find where things went wrong.
If you keep your characters too far under your thumb, they'll forget there's a sky, and eventually, stop breathing--at which point you may have to decide whether to keep them on life support or pull the plug. So don't be afraid to let go, and don't be afraid to hurt them--it's for their own good, and it will benefit everyone.
So yes, I believe that my characters are something like children to me--but I maintain a healthy distance, and let them be themselves. This mindset only works if you make sure not to coddle your characters or treat them as saints. Sometimes they will do good things, and you might reward them--sometimes they will do awful things, and even if they meant well, they need to learn that meaning well and doing well are not the same thing.
Now what do you think? Should people consider their characters offspring, or detach themselves completely? How do you feel about your own characters? Are they friends, siblings, cousins, neighbors, those loud assholes who live down the street with the aggressive dog that's always going after your kids? Let me know! I'm eager to hear your responses. :)
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