6 Things I Learned Editing My Second Novel

1. Apostrophes

It was with the help of a friend of mine who served as my first editor that I learned the trick to apostrophes--another thing they don’t teach you in school.  

So here’s the trick; apostrophes can mean three things in modern English.  Most commonly known, they denote contractions--"He is" becomes "he’s," "they are" becomes "they’re," etc.  

Most commonly written (I assume), and least commonly understood (as I understand it), they’re used to show possession.  In the sentence, “That is Tommy’s house,” the ‘s on the word Tommy shows us that the house is his belonging.

Thirdly, apostrophes c’n be used to show th’t l’tters’re missin’, e’en when a word ain’t contracted!  It’s useful fer writin’ dialect, y’see.  

But never, NEVER, NEVER, is an apostrophe used on a plural s.  It may be used beside a plural s, as in, “the Joneses’ house,” but if there are two cats, you’d never write “the two cat’s.”  That is apostrophe abuse & the grammar police WILL find you, and they’ll take those two cats away from you FOREVER, so watch y’r back m’friend!

2. Fit the theme

I fucking love science, especially biology and quantum physics, but pretty much all science, science is amazing, shut up.  So when I was writing my second finished novel, The Koci, I dribbled in some science stuff because I was learning about fibrin and wound healing in bio and I was all like, “This is metal as FUUUUUUUUUUUCkkkkkkk.”  

And by “dribbled in” I mean I put in like one thing.  One paragraph, describing how, unbeknownst to the main character, his fibrin was at work healing his wounds while he slept.  To illustrate how ridiculous this was in hindsight, this was a story about people who shapeshifted into big cats living in closed-species societies that were pretty much constantly at war.  A species that hadn’t even reached a point where they could perform rudimentary autopsies.

Jeez, little Coates, get it together!

The point is, when you create a world, you need to keep things consistent with the time and theme; a teenager in the fourteen hundreds isn’t going to think about the atomic structure of the universe unless they’re a time traveler, and likewise, a modern doctor isn’t going to think about healing in holistic terms.  

You can pull off juxtaposed viewpoints and worldviews, especially if your theme has something to do with the differences or similarities between past and present, or societies which progress in different ways or at different rates--but in that case, you need to be consistent with your juxtapositions.  Don’t just throw shit in because it’s sick af; it has to fit the mood of your piece.

3. Conservation of detail

The law of conservation of detail essentially states that if it isn’t important, you don’t describe it, and that, relatedly, if it is described, it must carry some modicum of importance.  People don’t want to stick around for description of things they don’t care about if it serves no purpose.

This applies to events or even entire scenes or mini-arcs as well as descriptions, objects, or characters.  That sequence where those cat-people straight-up murder a pregnant catlady and rip her open to steal the babies inside her might be sick and twisted and very telling as to how that band of criminals operates and all, but if it has effect on the main character, it’s gotta go.  Same with that forbidden romance literally nobody but the two side characters involved in it know about, and the sequence where the main character goes for a long walk and describes the scenery in great detail for no good goddamn reason.

Detail is like a gas, and the right amount of any gas is required for the Earth to continue to function the way it does.  But when you get too much of any one gas, it throws off the natural balance and starts eating away at your story’s ozone.  Give a hoot gurl, don’t pollute ur fictional world.

4. No long character lists for no reason

WHEEEEEN i wrote The Koci, I knew every single catperson that was in The Army; I knew what their job was, I knew who they were related to, I knew what their secret activities were, I knew EVERYTHING about them all, and I. Had. A. LIST.

So for whatever reason (don’t lie Maggie, you know the reason, you thought you were being all cool ‘n’ shit) I decided it would be a great reason to have one of my characters fUCKIN LIST ALL HUNDRED AND FUCKIN TWELVE CATPEOPLE IN THE ARMY, replete with jobs and descriptions and relationships oh my god.

Yeah, in hindsight it’s pretty embarrassing.  This is another “conservation of detail” thing; it was an unnecessary infodump, and I’m glad my editor talked me out of it before I had the chance to embarrass myself.  

If you ever do feel the need to include a list of all your characters, make sure it’s necessary, and not just a huge pile of useless information.

5. Random events must immediately relevent

So for The Koci I had a plan for a future sequel that I planned to call The Strangers, which would be all about a few human survivors of a nuclear apocalypse floating to shore on the island that the Koci occupied.  As a foreshadowing type thing, I had a blast of light white out the sky and melt all the snow toward the end of the book, but because nothing else in the story plays into that event, it comes across as random and weird.

In fact, it makes no sense.  You might be able to pull something like this off in a second book of a series, since if people are invested enough to read the second they’ll probably stick around to find out what’s up in the third, but for a first novel, especially one where it’s all pretty self-contained, you’re going to want to skip that bit.  Save it for the next book, kemosabe.  

6. Fireflies are dead by the time winter comes you moron

My last scene had fireflies circling the main characters and then flying away.  But, as I said before, there was supposed to be snow on the ground; those fireflies would be deeeaaadddd.

Past me should have known better.  

On A Quest For Critique Partners: The Casual Ties of War and After The End (There Is No End)

    Howdy everyone!  It's Maggie again, your spideriest writeriest nerd dork, back on a quest for CPs.  After going over The Casual Ties of War three dozen times over the last year, I'd still like to get another few sets of eyes on it.  Plus I have a newer project, a screenplay by the title After The End (There Is No End), which I'd like to get some input on.

     The description of each project is below, so if you're at all interested in trading manuscripts, let me know!  Your project doesn't have to be a stage or screenplay, either--if you have a novel or a collection of poems or short stories you'd like a critique partner for, I'm down for that too.

     If you'd like to get in touch after reading the blurbs below, send me an email at TheSpiderWriter@gmail.com with a summary of the work you'd like critique on, and we can talk shop.  I hope to hear from you soon!


   

The Casual Ties of War:  A ~13k dramedy of errors about love, duty, and the costs of war.

     Delial does not fall in love with her superiors!  ... Except maybe just this once.  But Soro is so sweet and kind, and better with a blade than anyone Delial's ever met!  And, technically she's not Delial's superior, just a superior.  She's not even older than Delilal, she's younger by two years and then some.  So it's not as bad as when her sister or best friend do it.

     ... Unless Delial mistook Soro for someone she's not, and Soro lied about who she really is in order to feel like she was someone's equal for once.  I mean, that could be so dangerous!  Especially if Delial wasn't who Soro thought, either--and if the mission Delial's on is meant to culminate in the death of someone that Soro's pretending she isn't....

     In the long-running war between Terra and Forma, tundra kingdoms of the frozen north, there's a lot that's been lost, but these young women will soon find out that even in a time of perpetual war, in a place of perpetual frost, there's a lot still left to lose.

After The End (There Is No End):  A ~21k urban fantasy about reincarnation, intertwined fates, and promises long since broken.

     When a struggling voice actor shows up at new president-elect Noel Estavez's celebratory party, famous screenwriter Cassandra Spell recognizes him instantly as her brother from a past life.  The one that killed himself before they saw their mission through to the end.

     That mission?  To kill the White Witch, the enchantress that stole them from the heavens and placed them in human bodies, now going by the name Noel Estavez.

     Constellations-made-flesh Cassandra and Barnabas fall back into step as they track down Andrew and Celeste, the former Andromeda and Cetus constellations, and resume their efforts to destroy the White Witch and her new Starchildren before they manage to overrun the world.

    But the lies Cassandra's been telling to protect her siblings-cum-lovers (and her habit of tipping the bottle) have to catch up with her sometime.  Eventually their war can't be fought in the dark any longer.  In time, all stars must die.

     The question is, can they take the Witch with them?  Or will they be extinguished before their timer runs down?

"Love Is What You Make It" Is Live!!!

     A few days ago I promised that I would start updating a story about polyamorous soul mates on Wattpad every Tuesday and Thursday--and it's really late on a Tuesday night, but it's still Tuesday (even in New York!) and the first chapter is up and ready to be read!
     The cover page isn't up to the standards I'd like it to meet, so I'm planning to remodel it when I get a free minute, but for now that up there is what we've got, and I'll post the summary again below.
     If you read the first chapter and like it, I always welcome feedback, and if you didn't like it and you want to let me know why I'd be grateful--just like all of you out there, I too am an imperfect sack of bones and meat (shocking, I know), and am ever striving towards self-improvement.
     If, for whatever reason, you might want access to early chapters, and in particular if you happen to also be PoC, LGBTQIA+ (intersex/intergender in particular), polyamorous, Jewish, or Muslim, I'm open and eager to having Beta readers (or even critique partners if you've got a WIP you'd like to swap chapters of)!  If that's the case you can reach me in the comments, dm me on twitter, message me on tumblr, or email me at TheSpiderWriter@gmail.com.
     And, since I'm new to Wattpad, if you have any good story recs for me (fantasy/sci fi/horror are my favorites, but I like a little bit of everything) drop 'em in the comments and I'll check 'em out! :)

Love Is What You Make It Summary:

Everyone is born with a name on their wrist.  One name.  Everyone gets one, that is all.
     Jack is born with three.
     Growing up in a world that's been shaped by the concept of one person, one soul mate is difficult when whatever forces govern the creation of such bonds have decided that you're destined to be polyamorous--or maybe that your soulmates are destined to die, one-by-one, along the way?  Jack doesn't know.  Jack is terrified that he doesn't know.  Jack tries not to think about the things he doesn't know.
     But what he does know is that when he meets Thomas Gray, a damaged jerk with too many pairs of glasses, everything is easy, everything is hard, and nothing will ever be the same again. 
     It's difficult, trying to figure what destiny is with only six words to guide you, especially in a world where lifting your sleeve too high might get you killed in the wrong neighborhood--but it's still four more than most people get, and Jack is eager to find out what that means.

Upcoming Projects

     It's a Sunday, and I don't usually post on Sundays (anymore), but I had some exciting news that I wanted to share with everybody without taking away one of the normal blog spots.
     While I've been online a long time, my online presence in my "rl" persona is relatively new.  I don't have a lot of stories to my name, and this year I've decided to change that; coming soon to an internet near you are the following works by Meghan D. Coates aka Maggie C. aka TheSpiderWriter aka the walking encyclopedia aka the one with too many nicknames please just stop already we're so confused:

Bloody, Bold, Irresolute:

What It Is:  A podcast about superheroes, supervillains, government intervention, a lowkey dystopia, true AI, floating robots, a talking tiger, aliens, violence, and gray morality based off of a 951 page novel I wrote when I was twelve (no worries, it's being heavily rewritten).

Summary:   In which the first superhero ever is crude, inaffable, irreverent, and incondite--in other words, a total asshole who probably shouldn't be trusted with a weapon of any sort.
     Bedecked with robots, a talking tiger, shitty police networks, half-abandoned towns, and vigilantes and villains galore, Bloody, Bold, Irresolute follows the Green-Eyed Albino (known to herself and her Droids as Wintergreen) as she kicks ass, takes names, and maybe sorta tries to save the world a little bit.

   

When:  The first and third sundays of every month, starting on Sunday, 2/21/16.

Where:  Soundcloud.com/bloodyboldirresolute

Website:  BloodyBoldIrresolute.weebly.com

Love Is What You Make It:

What It Is:  A semi-episodic experimental/exploratory slice-of-life romance story about a world where one is born with their soul mate's name on their wrist, which changes colors when you meet for the first time.

Summary:  Everyone is born with a name on their wrist.  One name.  Everyone gets one, that is all.
     Jack is born with three.
     Growing up in a world that's been shaped by the concept of one person, one soul mate is difficult when whatever forces govern the creation of such bonds have decided that you're destined to be polyamorous--or maybe that your soulmates are destined to die, one-by-one, along the way?  Jack doesn't know.  Jack is terrified that he doesn't know.  Jack tries not to think about the things he doesn't know.
     But what he does know is that when he meets Thomas Gray, a damaged jerk with too many pairs of glasses, in his class mid-junior-year, everything is easy, everything is hard, and nothing will ever be the same again.
     It's hard, trying to figure what destiny is with only six words to guide you, especially in a world where lifting your sleeve too high might get you killed in the wrong neighborhood--but it's four more than most people get, and Jack is eager to find out what that means.

When:  Tuesdays and Thursdays (hopefully in the mornings, but it may vary because school) starting 2/16/16.

Where:  Wattpad.com/ispiderwriter

The Rajaqweet

What It Is:  A collection of three webcomics concerning a race of immortal universe-hopping aliens with the single-minded goal of conquering and ruling over everything, everyone, everywhere.

Summary:  

Hail To The Noose:  Dhalast is very young, very driven, very single-minded, very accomplished; at the juvenile age of five hundred years, she earns her first face-to-face meeting with His Badass Glorification, the primordial behemoth, ever-growing, never-evolving, that has ruled over The Rajaqweet almost since the birth of the universe.
     After being promoted to a stationary rank on a small green planet called Ceril, it becomes her duty to keep the local population under the keen blade of the law, with the help of a few locals that have been delegated to act as her legal cabinet.  With Dhalast's impressive wit and keen senses (and Zharresk's understanding of local custom) it should be simple enough, but when the descendant of the most infamous rebel in Rajaqweet history makes herself known, Dhalast may finally meet her match.

Hiding Heinrik:  In a cozy seven-room apartment in the city there lives a group of five very close, very weird, very queer friends.  There's Mav, the everyman, studying for med school, and Mave, his twin sister, who's studying fashion and likes to throw knives, their friend Fera, an eight-star chef (in a rating system by her own design) who loves just about every sport, the group's default mom/dad Desna, an artist as dedicated to her friends as she is to her pacifistic moral code, and of course, X, a dabbler in all things who can't be boxed in by traditional ... anything, really.
     So when X, Desna, and the girls save an alien refugee from a crashed space ship and make Mav patch it back together, they're not exactly surprised that it fits right into their life.  And they've seen a lot of movies, so those FBI agents knocking on the door, the alien they see out of the corner of their eyes every now and again that then vanishes like smoke in the wind--they're basically to be expected.  But seeing as half of them are at least pseudo-pacifists, Fera and X are the only ones who have been in a real fight before, and Mav and Mave's mother is part of the very same government they're trying to slip under the radar of, things might get tricky....

Shithouse Maggots:  Sklor is young but not extremely young; she's talented, but not extremely talented; she's loyal, but she doesn't treat her lord's word like holy doctrine.  Maybe that's why He throws this extra assignment at her the day she's supposed to start her vacation.  Or maybe her Enabler is every bit the fucknugget she always dreamed he would be.
     Whatever the reason for her most recent assignment is, she's gotta do it--Planet Earth, fleshy meat creatures, hyper-militaristic.  Get in, rise to power, get out, should only take about a week.
     Should.  It should only take about a week.  When you add in a human form, a total lack of any kind of job experience or references, two be-legged larvae she's meant to help raise, and an only half-downloaded Culture Chip, the timeline might increase a little--or a lot.
     Well, as long as she doesn't stick around long enough to get (*shudder*) attached to anything, she should be fine.  She'll just make sure her next vacation is twice as long as this one was supposed to be.

When:  
HttN:  Mondays
HH:  Wednesdays
SM:  Fridays
Starting Monday, 3/7/16

Where:  TBA

Holiday Building and a Bulk of Holiday History

     Happy Independence Day everyone!  In honor of the holiday (and due to unforeseen time-vacuums), I postponed my Thursday post for today.  What to talk about?  Holidays, of course!

     In any fantasy or sci-fi world (or country, or time-frame, etc. etc.), there's a good chance you'll be starting from the bottom up.  At the very least, you'll likely not be playing with a world with a Christian/Jewish/Muslim God as the predominant deity, with Christmas in winter, Easter in Spring, Halloween in Fall, and a secular celebration of your nation's birth on July 4th.  Or maybe you are.  Whatever!

     Still, in fiction, carbon copies of these (albeit usually carefully photoshopped) are strangely widespread in worlds that are meant to share absolutely nothing with ours.  Even if your religions (and, unless well-explained (actual God-to-human communication, public burnings of nonbelievers, hive-minds, XYZ, ABC...) there should be at least a handful of religions scattered around your world.  The less centralized, the more there are apt to be--in a tribal society, there might be a different religion or sect to every village, while on a planet that has completely globalized, there may be one or two majority sects with a hundred or so lesser-known religions scattered across the globe) purposefully share marked similarities with real-world counterparts, there should be major differences in the holidays so that they more closely fit the layout of your world.

     Your secular holidays, meanwhile.... Honestly, if your secular holidays in a different world closely resembled modern-day America's (or whatever country you live in/take inspiration from), you might want to ask yourself why.  You may find yourself answering, "convenience" and realize that some changes are necessary.

     Here are some questions to help you build your holidays.  First, Religious:

 
     1.   What are the major religions in your world?  What is your viewpoint character's religion?

               Even if your viewpoint character worships Shamalk The Destroyer while the rest of the world is bowing down to The Most Holy of Rollers Garba-Kane, you can't pretend that only Shamalk matters.  This God/religion and everything associated with them will shape Viewpoint Character One and their family, but as we see in America, the dominant religion tends to hold sway with the government.  Atheists still get Christmas off, and while Jewish children can legally take time away from school to celebrate Rosh Hashanah, you won't see many polytheists running around without homework.

     Remember: the society at large is just as important as the individual household.

     2.   How much power does the dominant religion have in government?  

               If the dominant religion has little pull in government--maybe your society has an honest separation of church and state, or most politicians are atheist or something--then the likelihood that national holidays will be based on religious holidays are much more slim.

     3.   Who are your deities?

               Is there one?  Two?  Eighty-nine?  What are they associated with?  Are they equally important, or are there degrees of importance?  Are they mostly human, or incomprehensible?  Do they have a physical presence in the world?  What symbols are used to represent them?  Do these hold power, spiritual or physical?  What are their jobs?  What purpose do they serve in your world?  How do people relate to them?  Are they all equally important to individuals?  Does everyone know every God in the pantheon, or does each study one or a handful of Gods, going for total understanding of a few rather than an overview of many?

     4.   What is the history of the religion?  What are the myths that are associated with the religion and the Gods?  What has your religion appropriated from others?

               For Jews, the time of enslavement in Egypt and their freedom from its clutches inspired Passover;  Jesus not only set up the basis for Christianity, but provided the dates/inspiration for Christmas and Easter; in Islam, Abraham's willingness to sacrifice Ishmael gave birth to Eid al-Adha.  History--and whether you believe in a God or not, history is what these things are--can be a major source of holiday joy.  Whether it was a great boon for the church or people at large, or a huge tragedy that people desire to recover from, history is a wonderful resource.

               If you know your world's history, you've already gotten up on the right side of the bed.

               Myths are also important.  These may come from history, or explain natural phenomenon, and holidays may come from them, or from the phenomena being explained.  Harvest and spring festivals are seen in nearly all cultures, and are often very closely tied to the Gods associated with such things.

               Along with history and mythology, appropriation can also add a lot to the religions of your holidays.  When the Christians were converting people around Europe (and beyond), they often found themselves incorporating things into their roster of symbols, holidays, and religious officials to make the new converts feel less like they were being attacked, more at home with the new if they could keep a little bit of the old.  A number of Christian Saints were actually pagan Gods that had been stripped of their deity but kept in circulation.  It's like patching a child's safety blanket into a quilt--the child is forced to "grow up," but they don't cry as long and the resident adult can eventually get back to sleep, feeling better about themselves even if they don't really deserve it.

              Christmas traditions are largely pulled from pagan religions--for instance, Jesus was born in March, scientists tend to agree, but we celebrate in December.  Why?  Because the pagans celebrated Yule in the winter, and it was convenient.  The evergreen, a symbol of eternity, was adopted by Christians as a symbol for Christ, since he (and all he stood for) was supposed to be immortal.  Thus the Christmas tree!  There was also a Norse answer to Jesus--I can't remember the specifics right now, I'm sorry, I may have to check my brother's tomes--and if I recall correctly, they held a candle ceremony for him in late December.  It made sense to just join the celebrations and let everyone feel good about themselves.

               Even if the heads of your religions are not appropriating from others, try to think about the relationship the Church of Shamalk has with Garba-Kane's Church, and with the churches of each religion.  This is also rooted in their history--how did they get along then, how do they get along now, and how might it affect their celebrations?  Maybe they have a mutual holiday--Midsummer, for lack of something more original--and Shamalk orders that idols of Garba-Kane be burned, but Garba-Kane asks that Shamalk's likeness be covered in flowers.  Remember that there are two sides to every story, and they don't always match.

     5.   Put it all together.

               Okay, so you've pulled together your religions, your character's religion, your government involvement, your history, myths, deities, and interactions. Now use it.  Ask yourself, what holidays would be realistic?  Where did they come from?  How are they celebrated?  Do different people celebrate in different ways?  Do they get work off?  Whether they celebrate or not?  Or do people just kind of nod and say, "yeah, happy Shamalk Day, now get back in the ditch, your break was over six minutes ago"?  Are there gatherings, or is it a private holiday?  Does family play an important part?  Friends?  Or is it mainly celebrated between strangers?  Think.  Write.  Play.


     Now come Secular Holidays (and also the ones that ride the line).  Don't worry, we've laid the groundwork, this one is shorter.


     1.   Analyze your religious holidays.  Are there any that might be subverted into a secular tradition?

               Halloween (my favorite holiday) is a wonderful example of a secular holiday born of religion.  Beautifully, it was taken from the Celts and originally had strong ties to harvest time--from secular to religious to religious to secular.

               In ancient times, the Celts believed that on Samhain, the day of the harvest and halfway between fall equinox and winter solstice, the veil between worlds was thinnest.  They would light candles to guide home wayward spirits, but, fearing the wrath of ghosts and Gods alike (also called the fae, in this case), they left out offerings of food and drink to appease them and ask protection for the winter.

              When the Christians converted the Celts, they adopted the holiday as "All Saints Eve," to celebrate the saints and the dead.  Candles were lit on graves, masses held, and traveling performers (often children) would go from door to door, singing religious songs and putting on short religious plays.  People would give out "Soul Cakes" to the kids as a reward, much as carolers were traditionally given treats come Christmas time.  Skip forward a few centuries and viola!  Children of all faiths going from house-to-house, costumes bared and yelling "TRICK-OR-TREAT" to collect candy from grinning neighbors and strangers.
             
               Your holidays could follow the same route--they might pass through several phases of religious-to-secular-and-back before finally settling on something that might not even be recognizable as analogous to its original version.  Maybe they only see one conversion.  Do all holidays make this switch, or only some?  Why?  What's the history there?  How much of that history do most people know?  For everyone who can spew out something similar to the above on command, how many people don't even realize there's a true purpose to the holiday?  To what extent does the government endorse the holiday?  What kinds of people celebrate it?  What kind of opposition does it see?  Why?

     2.   Again, examine your history.

               History, history, history.  God damn, history is important, and dude, if you don't like history I honestly am not sure why you're doing so much world building because that's where the fun of it is!  Everything is history!

               What wars has your country fought?  What victories have been won, what losses mourned?  Did it secede from another nation? Did it quell a rebellion?  Who is it proud of and want to commemorate?  What accomplishments have been made?  What issues have been solved, or still need solving?  What kind of economic system do your people have, and what holidays might it inspire (modern-day Valentines may technically have religious roots, but most people are more than willing to admit that it's mostly a way for candy stores to drum up business between the Christmas and Easter rushes)?

               What kind of celebrations are appropriate?  Why?  Do they set off bombs to celebrate victories of war?  Sing dirges to mourn the loss of a hero?  Punish themselves and drink away the pain of slavery?  Display symbols and colors to denote pride?  Put a cat in a barrel and beat it to death, then burn a witch at the stake?  It's up to you.


     *Big breath*  Okay, I'm done for now.  There's probably a whole ton of stuff I'm forgetting, but if I remember it later I'll post about it later.  I guess what you should take away from this list is, if you want to make holidays (and unless it's explained away by a society run by Jehovah's Witnesses or something, there will be holidays because, let's face it, humans get bored), is know your religions, know your history, and ask questions.
 
     If nothing else, you can sit down and ask yourself what would be really cool/funny/weird/creepy, but totally makes sense in context.  You are a writer.  If you can find a way to justify it, you need no other permission.  So go forth and do writerly things.  Like waste your entire Fourth of July listening to Under The Dome on audio book, writing a blog post about holidays, and reading articles about a guy watching Back To The Future.  Or something.

     Yeah.  Day well spent.