6 Things I Learned Editing My Second Novel

1. Apostrophes

It was with the help of a friend of mine who served as my first editor that I learned the trick to apostrophes--another thing they don’t teach you in school.  

So here’s the trick; apostrophes can mean three things in modern English.  Most commonly known, they denote contractions--"He is" becomes "he’s," "they are" becomes "they’re," etc.  

Most commonly written (I assume), and least commonly understood (as I understand it), they’re used to show possession.  In the sentence, “That is Tommy’s house,” the ‘s on the word Tommy shows us that the house is his belonging.

Thirdly, apostrophes c’n be used to show th’t l’tters’re missin’, e’en when a word ain’t contracted!  It’s useful fer writin’ dialect, y’see.  

But never, NEVER, NEVER, is an apostrophe used on a plural s.  It may be used beside a plural s, as in, “the Joneses’ house,” but if there are two cats, you’d never write “the two cat’s.”  That is apostrophe abuse & the grammar police WILL find you, and they’ll take those two cats away from you FOREVER, so watch y’r back m’friend!

2. Fit the theme

I fucking love science, especially biology and quantum physics, but pretty much all science, science is amazing, shut up.  So when I was writing my second finished novel, The Koci, I dribbled in some science stuff because I was learning about fibrin and wound healing in bio and I was all like, “This is metal as FUUUUUUUUUUUCkkkkkkk.”  

And by “dribbled in” I mean I put in like one thing.  One paragraph, describing how, unbeknownst to the main character, his fibrin was at work healing his wounds while he slept.  To illustrate how ridiculous this was in hindsight, this was a story about people who shapeshifted into big cats living in closed-species societies that were pretty much constantly at war.  A species that hadn’t even reached a point where they could perform rudimentary autopsies.

Jeez, little Coates, get it together!

The point is, when you create a world, you need to keep things consistent with the time and theme; a teenager in the fourteen hundreds isn’t going to think about the atomic structure of the universe unless they’re a time traveler, and likewise, a modern doctor isn’t going to think about healing in holistic terms.  

You can pull off juxtaposed viewpoints and worldviews, especially if your theme has something to do with the differences or similarities between past and present, or societies which progress in different ways or at different rates--but in that case, you need to be consistent with your juxtapositions.  Don’t just throw shit in because it’s sick af; it has to fit the mood of your piece.

3. Conservation of detail

The law of conservation of detail essentially states that if it isn’t important, you don’t describe it, and that, relatedly, if it is described, it must carry some modicum of importance.  People don’t want to stick around for description of things they don’t care about if it serves no purpose.

This applies to events or even entire scenes or mini-arcs as well as descriptions, objects, or characters.  That sequence where those cat-people straight-up murder a pregnant catlady and rip her open to steal the babies inside her might be sick and twisted and very telling as to how that band of criminals operates and all, but if it has effect on the main character, it’s gotta go.  Same with that forbidden romance literally nobody but the two side characters involved in it know about, and the sequence where the main character goes for a long walk and describes the scenery in great detail for no good goddamn reason.

Detail is like a gas, and the right amount of any gas is required for the Earth to continue to function the way it does.  But when you get too much of any one gas, it throws off the natural balance and starts eating away at your story’s ozone.  Give a hoot gurl, don’t pollute ur fictional world.

4. No long character lists for no reason

WHEEEEEN i wrote The Koci, I knew every single catperson that was in The Army; I knew what their job was, I knew who they were related to, I knew what their secret activities were, I knew EVERYTHING about them all, and I. Had. A. LIST.

So for whatever reason (don’t lie Maggie, you know the reason, you thought you were being all cool ‘n’ shit) I decided it would be a great reason to have one of my characters fUCKIN LIST ALL HUNDRED AND FUCKIN TWELVE CATPEOPLE IN THE ARMY, replete with jobs and descriptions and relationships oh my god.

Yeah, in hindsight it’s pretty embarrassing.  This is another “conservation of detail” thing; it was an unnecessary infodump, and I’m glad my editor talked me out of it before I had the chance to embarrass myself.  

If you ever do feel the need to include a list of all your characters, make sure it’s necessary, and not just a huge pile of useless information.

5. Random events must immediately relevent

So for The Koci I had a plan for a future sequel that I planned to call The Strangers, which would be all about a few human survivors of a nuclear apocalypse floating to shore on the island that the Koci occupied.  As a foreshadowing type thing, I had a blast of light white out the sky and melt all the snow toward the end of the book, but because nothing else in the story plays into that event, it comes across as random and weird.

In fact, it makes no sense.  You might be able to pull something like this off in a second book of a series, since if people are invested enough to read the second they’ll probably stick around to find out what’s up in the third, but for a first novel, especially one where it’s all pretty self-contained, you’re going to want to skip that bit.  Save it for the next book, kemosabe.  

6. Fireflies are dead by the time winter comes you moron

My last scene had fireflies circling the main characters and then flying away.  But, as I said before, there was supposed to be snow on the ground; those fireflies would be deeeaaadddd.

Past me should have known better.  

Chapter Titles: Part 2, Naming

     On Friday I posted a blog about chapter numbering, with the promise that I would later bring you chapter naming.  Well never fear, my SpiderReaders, I am here to deliver on said promise!  Today's post is all about what kinds of chapter naming conventions you might use to your advantage.

1.  Before the Name

    Before you even name the chapter itself, ask yourself--is it even a chapter?  Or is it, perhaps, a Stave?  

     For those of you who don't recognize the reference right off the bat, one of the most famous classical English writers was a man by the name of Charles Dickens, and one of his most famous stories is a little number by the name of A Christmas Carol.  

     A Christmas Carol is divided into Staves instead of chapters, because a Stave is the song equivalent of a stanza (which is the poem equivalent of a paragraph) and Charles Dickens was a clever little shit back in the day.

     I ONE HUNDRED PERCENT approve of any efforts you may have to improve upon this model; do you want to have staves?  Verses?  A chorus?  Is your story modeled after a Greek Tragedy?  Why not have a fucking Stasima, Strophe and Anti-Strophe and all!  Does poetry feature heavily in your work?  Divide it into stanzas!  Does theatre feature heavily in your novel?  Divide it into Acts and Scenes!

     Or, if that seems too gimicky or just doesn't fit with your story?  Stick with chapters.  No one will fault you; chapters are the default for a reason.

2.  POV/Place Shifts

     One simple way to name chapters is as a way to announce POV shifts.  Neal Shusterman does this in his series Unwind by naming each chapter after whichever character's head we're in.  It's simple, it doesn't require much energy, and it automatically lets you know whose hands are on the wheel, so you're not fumbling around in the dark or left with POV whiplash.  As a writer, it can also help keep you from sliding into omniscient third person if you're trying to write in limited third.

     If you tend more toward omniscient third and dealing with a large cast, you can do this with groups, too--in my WIP Captive Stars, I use the name of the packs that the characters belong to, which narrows the focus of the chapter and keeps POV switch whiplash to a minimum.

     Or, if your POV is more stable (or less), you could name each chapter using the area in which it takes place (useful for travel stories) or the time/date.  Or you can combine the methods.

     Again; short, simple, straight-forward.

3.  Suit The Mood

     In a light-hearted book, or for light-hearted chapters, sometimes a play on words is in order; in one of my WIPs, I introduced the protagonist, Ben Desdon, in a chapter called "Ben There, Desdon That," because I'm a fucking loser and Ben is the kind of loveable dork-ass that would not only make that pun, but giggle uncontrollably all the while.

     Because I'm an unforgivable swarm of linguistic humor, I take advantage of every opportunity I can to make the chapter titles into jokes; I have lots of fun with it.

     But I'm just as eager to turn a poetic phrase when the chapter is more serious; "Of Mortal Concerns," for instance, is a great title name for a chapter concerning death, or if your books is about immortals, the literal concerns of mortals as compared to those of the Gods.  This technique is great for foreshadowing events to come without being heavy-handed, too.

     Basically, using witty one-liners or quick poetic quips as your chapter heading can help set the mood and get the audience into the mindset you want them in.

4.  Hyper-Descriptive

     And sometimes, much like a textbook chapter heading, you just want a chapter title that'll tell it how it is; Mark Twain was fond of this one, and used it in Tom Sawyer.  It lets the audience know what we're in for, and has the secondary use of letting kids who didn't read the assignment save the tiniest bit of face because at least they can check the chapter heading for a clue!

     This type of chapter heading has pretty much completely gone out of style, but it's an option if you wanted to revive it.  I think it could be of particular use in a first-person narrative, where the protagonist can be assumed to be the one writing the chapter names, or if the narrator is established to be heavily descriptive or overly technical in their writing.

     What's your favorite method for naming chapters?  Are you particularly attached to any one method, or does it depend on the project?  Are there any other methods you like the use?