The Ten Stages of (Publication) Rejection

Rejection Stage 1:

I'm okay, everything is fine, I'll find rep somewhere else

Rejection Stage 2:

                                                        But why didn't they like it

Rejection Stage 3:

                                                           They don't understand it!

                                                   They're so unfair, I worked so hard!

Rejection Stage 4:

                   I'm trash. I'm shit, I'm a terrible writer, I'm not even human why should I try anymore

Rejection Stage 5:

I WILL CUT AND BURN YOU UNTIL YOU SHINE BRIGHT LIKE A DOITSU GOD DAMN IT

Rejection Stage 6:

                                                                               y this

Rejection Stage 7:

                                                                              Sleep

Rejection Stage 8:

                                      Did I write this poorly, or was it just not up to their tastes?


Rejection Stage 9:

             Cheetos and Ginger Ale and Comfort Writing ab something else to rinse the taste away

Rejection Stage 10:

                                                             Reluctant acceptance.  

                                                  Time to move on and try again.

Shout Out To The Kids Who Tic

I posted this on my Tumblr a few days ago, but I figured I might as well post it here, too, because it's important to me, and may be important to some of you, too, so here, have some positivity:


Shout out to the autistic kids with Tourette’s

Shout out to the allistic kids with Tourette’s

Shout out to the kids with Tourette’s that have no comorbid disorders

Shout out to the kids who have so many comorbid disorders it sometimes feels like you’re drowning

Shout out to the kids who have very soft, tiny tics, and shout out to the kids who scream and punch things when they tic

Shout out to the kids with self-injurious tics, shout out to the kids with palilalia, echolalia, coprolalia, shout out to the kids who don’t fit into any pre-determined categories and shout out to the ones who fit in ALL the pre-determined categories

Shout out to the kids whose doctors try to de-diagnose them, shout out to the kids still waiting for a diagnosis, shout out to the kids whose parents or teachers or classmates tell them they’re faking, to the kids who are starting to wonder if maybe they are faking, shout out to the kids who are happily and firmly diagnosed and who are fortunate enough to have supportive kith and kin, shout out to the kids who never have to doubt that they’re telling the truth

Shout out to the kids who’ve been ticking since age 2, shout out to the kids who didn’t start ticking until sixteen, shout out to the kids who grew up and don’t tic anymore, shout out to all the adults who were told they’d stop ticking at eighteen but never did, shout out to the kids whose whole family tics and shout out to the kids who happen to be the first Tiquer in their family line

Shout out to the kids on medication, to the kids who never took medication, to the kids who tried medication and decided it wasn’t for them, shout out to all the kids who were prescribed medication they never should have been offered and ended up worse off because of it, shout out to the kids on medication who love their meds, shout out to the kids on medication who still tic because suppressing and managing isn’t the same thing as curing

Shout out to the kids with 504s and IEPs, and shout out to all the kids who live in a school district that won’t acknowledge them, shout out to the kids who can’t afford a diagnosis, shout out to the kids whose parents don’t believe them when they say they can’t help it, shout out to the kids who made their parents listen

Shout out to the kids who have to educate others every day of their life, to the kids who have to explain their disorder to every substitute so they don’t get yelled at, to the kids who are raising their voices and forcing the world to take note, and shout out to the kids who are shy or timid, to the kids who would rather blend into the background and not have to fight to be accepted.  

Shout out to the kids who laugh at their own tics, who cry about their tics, the kids who hold it all in until they explode at the end of the day and the kids who just let everything flow and don’t care who sees.  Shout out to the kids who struggle to get by, and shout out to the kids who are living well, and shout out to all of you living in between.  

Shout out to all my fellow Tiquers out there, the ones that have Tourette’s and the ones that Tourette’s is trying to take–you are strong and beautiful, and every day that you get through, no matter how difficult, no matter how strenuous, is a day that you become stronger and more vibrant.  There’s no wrong way to have Tourette’s, there’s no wrong way to respond to your overactive nervous system, you are doing you, and the you you are doing is perfect just as it is.  I believe in you, and you should believe in you too.

I am here for the kids who tic

Two Ways To Add Drama To Your Novel

     Drama is important in your novel--one can argue that without drama, there is no novel.  You can write a book without an antagonist, a series without a singular set of characters, a play without a plot, a novel that's mostly a comedy, but you can't write anything without drama.  Drama is your meat and potatoes.  Maybe comedy or romance or fluff is your desert, and everybody loves them some pumpkin pie (or at least I do.  It's fine if you prefer cherry or apple or whatever.  More pumpkin for me.), but you can't eat that entire pie without a few solid meals in between.  You'd get sick and end up malnourished, and it wouldn't be a pretty sight, I assure you.

     Basically, without tension; stakes; DRAMATICALITY!, your jokes (or fluff, etc) will fall flat, because there will be no reason to care.  Even if your jokes are funny, your characters will have nothing to do, because there won't be any action propelling them to make the mistakes that people find endearing; action is all that drama is.  And without those elements, there's no reason for a novel to exist.  We could just as easily have picked up a joke book, or read some fanfiction and not have bothered with the lackluster story that's been presented to us.

     And if you're not writing a comedy or fluff piece, drama becomes all the more important--in fact, it becomes just about everything.

     There are lots of ways to add drama to your novel, but here are the two big mainstays of fiction.  They form the basis of basically everything your book is about, many times out of one hundred.

     The first thing you do is find out what the character fears most.  Is it snakes?  Commitment?  Flying?  That creepy old dude squatting in the porta-potty down the street?  Pinpoint that fear.  Point out that he's afraid, figure out why he's afraid.

     Then slap him upside the head with that fear; force him to face it head-on, and set the stakes high enough that he has to do it.  Make him the only one qualified to catch snakes to make a special anti-venom for his baby brother, tell him that if he doesn't marry his on-again off-again girlfriend that she'll be deported, shove him into a situation where the only way to find the mystical prince destined to save the world is to bring gift offerings to Porta-John and spend a week living with him in the cramped porta-potty for which he has named himself.

     Then, once he's faced a fear and come out stronger (or weaker) for it--do it again.  And again.  And again.  Repeat ad infinitum, or until your novel is finished.  Whichever comes first.

     The second thing to keep in mind when trying to stir up drama is what your character wants most.  Does she want to be a member of a famous band?  Does she want to go on an amazing adventure?  Marry the girl she's been crushing on for like, forever? To go to college and get an education so she can make her family proud?

     Now give it to her.  Make her work for it--or don't, either can work, depending on how the story is laid out; if the story starts with this sudden blessing bestowed upon her for no reason, that's fine!  It'll make the next step less tragic, if she hasn't done anything to earn it.  But let her have this one.  Let her earn this victory, become that band member, marry that girl, be the Chosen One--and then let her reap the consequences.

     Make them substantial.  Make them horrible and totally unexpected--make her doubt everything she's ever wanted; it's not so great, being a superstar, she finds, and her idols, it turns out, are total assholes; she quickly finds out that she doesn't actually know the girl of her dreams at all, and they're terribly incompatible--perhaps horrifically so; the adventure she wanted involves levels of violence and hardships the books never cover--she forgot that she was never good at gym class and probably should have thought this out a little better; and of course, the degree she wants isn't really the one she wants, and she wonders how she ever thought it was.

     For the best effect, sprinkle these twisted gifts with elements of her worst fears, and laugh as her life spirals down into something she never expected and doesn't quite have the skills to deal with.

     Now force her to find a way out on her own.  Whatever skills she lacks, she has to find a way to gain them, whatever mistakes she's made, she has to find a way out of it, no mysterious saviors, no easy solutions, no (or few) external forces, no Deus Ex Machinas--she got herself into it, and now she has to get herself out.

    And this, comrades, is the very heart of drama.